tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post8692664364077128412..comments2024-03-12T21:24:23.240-04:00Comments on Emily Bryan Romance: Red Pencil Thursday from Cyprus!EmilyBryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542349086762747179noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-54344831227040322602010-05-05T09:25:39.787-04:002010-05-05T09:25:39.787-04:00I love that quote! Printed and sitting on my desk....I love that quote! Printed and sitting on my desk. I am making my WIP warble at the moment, and it feels great. <br />I hope it sings sometime in the future. :)Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-45181464691002060942010-05-05T08:30:08.145-04:002010-05-05T08:30:08.145-04:00Glynis--You've discovered the secret. Writing ...Glynis--You've discovered the secret. Writing is really re-writing. The trick is getting the bones of the story down. Then you can dress it up and make it sing. <br /><br />Nora Roberts says she can fix a bad page, but she can't fix a blank one. Words to live by.EmilyBryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03542349086762747179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-45333104359580200182010-05-05T01:49:38.974-04:002010-05-05T01:49:38.974-04:00Coming from you that is a wonderful compliment, Em...Coming from you that is a wonderful compliment, Emily. Thank You.<br /><br />Thanks for the comment on the revised version on my blog. It has changed again, as you might have guessed. I think I have climbed off of the bottom rung, and am on the next one up. :)Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-1811870225923458732010-05-04T17:27:44.753-04:002010-05-04T17:27:44.753-04:00Thanks again for letting me take a whack at your R...Thanks again for letting me take a whack at your Ripper, Glynis. I think you have the makings of good story here!EmilyBryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03542349086762747179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-10105466330922208382010-05-01T13:14:13.336-04:002010-05-01T13:14:13.336-04:00LibraryPat, thank you.
Emily certainly helped me r...LibraryPat, thank you.<br />Emily certainly helped me rethink. I posted the new version on my blog.Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-60959463460137875102010-05-01T13:02:11.518-04:002010-05-01T13:02:11.518-04:00I am still surprised how little changes can make s...I am still surprised how little changes can make such a big difference. It is especially noticeable when you switch things completely around like you did here. Same words and story, just a different order.<br /><br />Good luck, Glynis. I'll be watching for you book.librarypatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-46867487315709234462010-04-29T10:09:49.471-04:002010-04-29T10:09:49.471-04:00Hello Gillian. Thank you so much for reading and l...Hello Gillian. Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment.<br /><br />I do hope the rewrite won't scare you away! <br /><br />I like my title and hope that one day an agent will.*smile*Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-37944165896273551112010-04-29T10:06:09.911-04:002010-04-29T10:06:09.911-04:00Emily, sorry I should have said, it mentions it fu...Emily, sorry I should have said, it mentions it further along the story.<br /><br />I will be thrilled if you read it, thank you.<br /><br />My rewrite has now given me something new to consider. Is chapt 1 now going to be 1 & 2...*debating*. So many things to think of, but enjoying the process.Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-31914258818897302672010-04-29T10:02:18.034-04:002010-04-29T10:02:18.034-04:00Alex, Emily is a gracious lady and made me feel wo...Alex, Emily is a gracious lady and made me feel worth the effort.<br /><br />Yes I will remember those initials, they make me work harder! :)Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-82685015291872530222010-04-29T08:40:23.392-04:002010-04-29T08:40:23.392-04:00Hi, Glynis! I think your title is amazing. It woul...Hi, Glynis! I think your title is amazing. It would definitely make me pick up a book and read the back copy, even if the thought of Jack the Ripper gives me the shivers. :)<br /><br />Beginning your story with Kitty in a dark ally would keep me reading. I'm a coward and often avoid scary books, but I couldn't stop reading a chapter that started with such a suspenseful set up. And if I made it through the first few pages in the bookstore and it wasn't gory--I'd probably buy it. So it's a great choice of starting places.<br /><br />Have fun with your re-writes! I'll definitely check out your blog.Gillian Laynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15772849187702478349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-8125756651985085992010-04-29T07:45:13.139-04:002010-04-29T07:45:13.139-04:00Glynis--My critique is just one person's opini...Glynis--My critique is just one person's opinion. Only you can tell your story. My Red Pencil Thursdays are a smorgasbord. Take what you like and leave the rest. <br /><br />I think you could make the scene work with her alone if you do very deep POV. If we hear her direct thoughts often(like you've done in your new beginning), we'd be privy to her feelings and fears. But you might want to consider limiting the amount of backstory info you put in. Too much and it will remove us from the immediate scary situation.EmilyBryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03542349086762747179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-91570171361135238442010-04-29T07:20:48.845-04:002010-04-29T07:20:48.845-04:00Alex--I only hope you won't associate me with ...Alex--I only hope you won't associate me with TSTL. <br /><br />It's a concept I always have to juggle. We want our heroes and heroines to be brave, but we also want them smart.EmilyBryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03542349086762747179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-84438048456138011422010-04-29T07:15:58.120-04:002010-04-29T07:15:58.120-04:00Glynis--I didn't get the sense that this was t...Glynis--I didn't get the sense that this was the way she usually went.<br /><br />If she could be meeting someone in this spooky place, you could have that "raised-hair-on-the-nape" experience. Meeting someone gives her a valid reason for being there and then once she meets the other person, someone to talk with that avoids the long internal dialogue she's having with herself.<br /><br />Or what if she's late and she takes this way because she's afraid the other person won't wait or something and it's vitally important that she meet them? I'd just like a reason for her actions so I can step happily into her shoes for some sping-tingling!<br /><br />You have got the right idea! Writing is mostly rewriting. I'll pop over to your blog tomorrow and see what you've done!EmilyBryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03542349086762747179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-67158726030856853202010-04-29T07:01:22.880-04:002010-04-29T07:01:22.880-04:00You're a brave woman, Glynis!
And I shall reme...You're a brave woman, Glynis!<br />And I shall remember TSTL.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217012316587200736.post-90083435249723329402010-04-29T06:23:05.669-04:002010-04-29T06:23:05.669-04:00Well I cannot run and hide now.
The only point I ...Well I cannot run and hide now.<br /><br />The only point I find hard is having her talk with someone. I am aiming for a spooked feeling in an area she never usually feels it. She is meant to be alone until the end of the alley.<br /><br />I have addressed the issues you mentioned (I hope. I will post chapter one on my blog tomorrow. (The new version). I wonder if the rest of it will show she realises, she might be TSTL.<br /><br />Thanks Emily, I look forward to reading the comments today.Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.com