September 19th is the Official International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I am not making this up. There's a website and everything! So to get us into the spirit of this parody of a holiday, I thought I'd offer up some pirate pick-up lines.
1. Wanna shiver me timbers?
2. What's a nice wench like ye doing in a smarmy lagoon like this?
3. That's some treasure chest.
4. Avast, me proud beauty. Care to make my Roger Jolly?
5. Prepare to be boarded!
All right, what they lack in finesse, they make up for in impudence. But how might a lady pirate communicate her interest, or lack thereof?
1. So tell me, why do they call ye Cap'n Jellyfish?
2. That's quite a cutlass ye have there.
3. Me mother warned me about sailing men. Wouldn't want to make the poor old dear a liar, would ye?
4. No, I'm not seeing Mad Dog McGee anymore. Besides, he's found a terrific new therapist and hasn't cut anything off anyone for . . . oh, three weeks at least.
5. Wanna come up to my place? I just had me mattress deloused.
For the ultimate pick up, pick up your copy of PLEASURING THE PIRATE! At fine bookstores and online now! If you'd like to learn some more pirate lingo, check out my pirate lexicon at http://www.thechatelaines.blogspot.com .
Your turn! Have you got a great pirate pick-up line?