Showing posts with label International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Show all posts

Friday, September 17, 2010

Pirate Pick-up Lines



September 19th is the Official International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I am not making this up. There's a website and everything! So to get us into the spirit of this parody of a holiday, I thought I'd offer up some pirate pick-up lines.

For Lads:

1. Wanna shiver me timbers?

2. What's a nice wench like ye doing in a smarmy lagoon like this?

3. That's some treasure chest.

4. Avast, me proud beauty. Care to make my Roger Jolly?

5. Prepare to be boarded!


All right, what they lack in finesse, they make up for in impudence. But how might a lady pirate communicate her interest, or lack thereof?



For Lasses:


1. So tell me, why do they call ye Cap'n Jellyfish?

2. That's quite a cutlass ye have there.

3. Me mother warned me about sailing men. Wouldn't want to make the poor old dear a liar, would ye?

4. No, I'm not seeing Mad Dog McGee anymore. Besides, he's found a terrific new therapist and hasn't cut anything off anyone for . . . oh, three weeks at least.

5. Wanna come up to my place? I just had me mattress deloused.

For the ultimate pick up, pick up your copy of PLEASURING THE PIRATE! At fine bookstores and online now! If you'd like to learn some more pirate lingo, check out my pirate lexicon at http://www.thechatelaines.blogspot.com .

Your turn! Have you got a great pirate pick-up line?

Friday, October 9, 2009

I missed Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Doggone it! What with all the excitement over A CHRISTMAS BALL, I completely missed International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19th.

What? You've never heard of Talk Like a Pirate Day? Say it ain't so! It's the day when everyone can talk like a pirate and get away with it.

What? You don't know how to talk like a pirate? Well, I'd hate to see you be mistaken for a scurvy lubber, so here's my little pirate lexicon.

Ahoy! ~ "Hello!"

Avast! ~ "Hey!" "Stop!" "No way!"

Aye ~ "Yes, I most heartily agree."

Aye aye! ~ "Absolutely, I'll see to it as soon as I finish my nap."

Arrr ~ Can mean "yes," "I'm happy." or "Great beer!" Not to be confused with "Aarg!" (which is the sound you make when you accidentally sit on the sharp pointy end of an anchor!)

Beauty ~ Pirate word for a wench, always preceded by 'me,' as in "Why are ye walkin' away, me beauty?"

Bilge rat ~ A first rate insult, as in "Belay that racket, ye smarmy bilge rat." The bilge is the lowest deck of the ship, usually filled with slimy water. Of course, if someone made me stay in the bilge, I'd make a racket too!

Grog ~ Watered rum. Since water onboard was stored in slimy wooden barrels, it was usually anything but fresh. Grog helped kill the rancid taste. And several thousand brain cells.

Hornpipe ~ A single reed flute and the wild dance usually done to its music. Not to be confused with the pirate pick up line, "No, me beauty, that's not a hornpipe in me pocket. I really am happy to see ye!"

Keelhaul ~ A really horrible way to spend an afternoon. Pirates who violated one of the articles (rules they all voted on and agreed to before the voyage began) might be punished by being tied to a rope that ran under the keel of the ship. The offender was shoved into the water on one side of the ship, dragged against the barnacled-covered hull and hauled out on the other. Rinse, and repeat.

Lubber ~ An insulting word for a landsman. No one wants to be a lubber.

Smartly ~ To do something quickly. As in "Nip down to the bookstore smartly and pick up your copy of PLEASURING THE PIRATE so you'll be ready when Talk Like A Pirate Day comes next year!"

PS. Today is my regular posting day over at The Chatelaines. Hope you'll visit me there too!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Naked Truth about the Bad Boys of the Caribbean


Pirates? Arrg! There’s just something about a man who takes what he wants and makes us like it! When the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN movies came out, with the charmingly spacey Captain Jack and devastatingly attractive Will Turner, I was moved to write a swashbuckling hero with a saucy heroine to match.

Enter Captain Gabriel Drake, the hero of PLEASURING THE PIRATE. After earning a royal pardon for his wicked ways, he decides to play the prodigal and come home to the life of a gentleman. But a change of station doesn’t change his pirate’s heart, as the courtesan’s daughter, Jacquelyn Wren, soon learns. When he decides he wants her instead of the well-born woman she’s grooming him for, the pirate in Gabriel roars back to life. And what a pirate wants, a pirate takes.

In order to make my pirate believable, I had to do more than watch Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom (though I’ll confess to doing a little of that, too!). I researched the pirate era and the fascinating characters that sailed the seas in search of plunder. So here’s the naked truth about those Caribbean bad boys.

1. They weren’t all in the Caribbean. Piracy was common to every sea on earth. Barbary corsairs plied the coast of Africa. Malaccan pirates preyed on pilgrims bound for Mecca. Chinese junks join together to form massive pirate navies. Where ever you sailed, there were those with a cavalier attitude toward property ownership.

2. They weren’t all boys. While it was generally considered bad luck to bring a woman on board (and the penalty for sneaking one on could be death or marooning!), there were a few notable female pirates. Both Anne Bonney and Mary Read sailed with Calico Jack and were reputedly fierce fighters. When his ship was finally taken by the British navy, the two women were the only ones who put up any resistance. The rest of the crew was too drunk to fight. But when Anne and Mary were convicted of piracy, they “pleaded their bellies” and escaped the noose because they were pregnant. Calico Jack wasn’t so lucky. When Anne Bonney visited him while he waited for the hangman, she comforted him with, “if you’d fought like a man, you needn’t be hanged like a dog.” Talk about being an “I told you so!”

3. They weren’t all bad. Or at least, they didn’t start out that way. Like Gabriel Drake in PLEASURING THE PIRATE, some honest seamen turned to piracy because they had no choice. Black Bart Roberts began his career as a naval navigator, but was pressed into piracy when his ship was taken. He went on to become one of the most successful pirate captains in history.

4. They weren’t all naked. Though pirates went barefoot at sea, they enjoyed dressing well. Since they often took prizes of silk bales or rich brocade, pirates delighted in devising flamboyant costumes to wear once they hit port. Buccaneers had plenty of free time during long days at sea to sew. Since women were not welcome aboard ships, what else did they have to do?

5. They held to their own code of conduct. Pirate crews practiced a rough form of democracy, electing their captains and signing articles defining their goals and expected behavior. In PLEASURING THE PIRATE, Gabriel Drake’s first mate reminds him that according to the articles he drew up himself, ‘meddling’ with a woman of prudence is strictly forbidden. Good thing Jacquelyn Wren isn’t the prudent type.

6. They took care of their own. Pirates were often maimed in the course of spreading mayhem. As part of the articles they signed, payment for loss of an eye or a limb was agreed upon ahead of time. What a way to fund your retirement!

7. They were only deemed pirates if they stole from the wrong people. A privateer-one bearing a Letter of Marque—might commit the very same acts as a pirate, seizing goods and ships, with the blessing of his Sovereign so long as he shared the booty with the Crown. However, if he made the mistake of attacking the wrong ship, even a Letter of Marque couldn’t save him. Captain Kidd mistakenly attacked a British vessel and though he possessed a Letter, it wasn’t enough to save him from the noose and the gibbet.

8. They didn’t just hang a convicted pirate. They made an example of him. First, he was hung with a short rope, so his neck wouldn’t break. Death for a pirate was a protracted public strangulation. His body was left to be covered by three tides, then tarred and put on display in a gibbet as a warning to other seafaring men who might be tempted to piracy. Pirate hangings were treated as holidays by the public. When Gabriel Drake is led to the gallows in PLEASURING THE PIRATE, there’s much jostling to secure the best place from which to view the spectacle. These people seriously needed cable TV.

9. They didn’t all fly the Jolly-Roger. Each pirate captain devised his own version of the skull and cross-bones in an effort to appear as fearsome as possible. But if he really wanted to scare the living lights out of his prey, he’d run up a solid red flag. It was a signal that he’d neither give nor accept quarter. He intended to kill every soul on board.

10. Pirates didn’t bury their treasure. A few pirates might cache their goods from time to time (and in PLEASURING THE PIRATE, a treasure is rumored to be hidden somewhere in Dragon Caern, Gabriel Drake’s castle). But pirates would never leave a map to indicate where their treasure lies, lest it fall into the wrong hands. Besides, they were more likely to spend their ill-gotten gains in riotous living than to salt it away for their unlikely retirement. There were very few old pirates. “A merry life and a short one” was their motto.

Which just goes to prove what I suspected all along. Pirates just wanna have fun!
If you wanna have some fun, pick up a copy of PLEASURING THE PIRATE by Emily Bryan. It’ll have you saying “Shiver me timbers!” in no time!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

As seen on the Official INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE website!

I'm so excited! PLEASURING THE PIRATE is featured as a link on the Official International Talk Like A Pirate Day Website! You'll need to scroll down the page a bit to find the books section. PLEASURING THE PIRATE is under the Books for teens and adults section.

What? You've never heard of International Talk Like a Pirate Day? Undoubtedly, you are a 'lubber' of the first water. However, there's still time. TLAP isn't until September 19th. You can still bone up on the pirate lingo enough to pass as a swashbuckler. Visit my Pirate Cove for some pirate pick-up lines, pirate booty and a contest to win a boatload of books!

Shiver me timbers, it's all in good fun!