The Best Gift

The following is a true story. I heard it from my DH's oldest sister (and she's a Methodist minister so it has to be true, mostly!) It's about giving love even when the recipient doesn't realize they've received it.

My sister-in-law was in junior high when she was told by the band teacher that she had the perfect embrasure for a clarinet player. So she went home and informed her parents that she needed a clarinet.

My DH's family was not wealthy. They had 8 kids on a small family farm. His mother worked as a cook at the local highschool and his dad drove a schoolbus to bring in a little extra cash. Even so, my sister-in-law didn't realize the enormity of what she was asking. After talking the matter over, my DH's parents admitted they'd saved a bit because they were planning to buy a clothes dryer (something I would rank as a necessity with such a big family!) Instead, they'd use that money to buy the clarinet. They found a 2nd-handed one for $200. It was chronically flat and the entire band had to tune to that instrument, but my sister-in-law learned to play and love music with it. And so did her younger sister. And later, her daughter.

And my SIL didn't realize until she was an adult with her own kids' laundry to wash the incredible size of this gift. Hanging clothes out on a line is no light chore, especially during a northern Iowa winter. But her parents were willing to make the choice so their child's spirit could be nourished with music. That clarinet was sacrifical love with a reed attached.

Like my SIL, we often don't recognize the enormity of the gifts we receive. As a Christian, I'm looking forward to celebrating the greatest gift ever given. This year, I hope to take miracle of Christmas deeper into my soul and be thankful as never before for that gift.

Oh, and here's the rest of the clarinet story! You're gonna love it. Just before Christmas, my DH's dad won the grand prize at the local hardware store. You guessed it. A brand new clothes dryer.

Wishing you the gift of love this Christmas!

Today is the LAST DAY TO ENTER my MERRY CHRISTMAS BALL CONTEST . On December 1st, one lucky person will win a $100 gift card just in time for Christmas shopping. I'll announce the winner right here on my blog tomorrow.

Enter today and good luck!

What's the best gift you've ever given or received?

The Anti-Shopper does Black Friday!

Today, against my better judgment, I set the alarm for 5 AM. I've never shopped on Black Friday before. There is something in me that rebels at the thought of camping outside a place of business for the priviledge of being first to spend my money there. And don't get me started on the herd instinct that kicks in and results in sometimes fatal tramplings. Honestly, it's just a bunch of stuff. Certainly not worth knocking someone down over.

But there was one item advertised that would be perfect for someone on my list. And it was offered at a significant savings.(Sorry I can't be more specific. My fam sometimes reads my blog. Shhhh!) So at 5:15AM, the DH and I sallied forth to face the insanity of Black Friday.

I truly despise shopping. The idea of wandering around without any clue what I'm looking for makes my blood pressure rise. I subscribe to the ninja school of purchasing. I target an item. Moving with stealth and speed, I zero in. I acquire, extract, pay and get the heck out of there as fast as I can.

Speed was not possible this morning. Starting with the uber-full parking lot, there were more lines than Disney World with none of the fun. First I waited in line to acquire a ticket for the item while the DH trolled for a parking space. By sheer dumb luck, I nabbed the very last ticket! That took 45 minutes. Then we were directed to the check out line specifically for people with "ticket" items. It snaked through the office supplies and appliance section and moved with glacial speed. After standing in this line for an hour and forty minutes (!) we were informed that our ticketed item had been "optimized" by the Geek Squad and would therefore cost $40 more than the advertised price. No wonder the line moved so slowly if they tried extorting every customer at the last moment. I'm sure after the wait a lot of people paid the extra just to be done with it. We refused and they finally sold it to us for the advertised price.

All told, we probably saved $350-400, tallying up all the other items we bought on sale as well. Was it worth it? I'll probably think so when the CC bill comes, now I'm not sure. We lost sleep, started our day on a frustrating note and had to wrangle with a very rude cashier about the price. Money is important, but gift giving is supposed to be joyous. I experienced no shopping Nirvana (which I know is possible because I did it . . . once.)

How about you? Any shopping war stories to share? Do you enjoy shopping? Did you hit the mall early this morning? We had a lovely, quiet Thanksgiving and hope you did as well.

PS. Today is Friday, my usual post day on The Chatelaines. I'm getting ready to go to the movies over there! Please join me.

Giving Thanks

Wow. I don't know where to start.

Last year at this time, I'd just been informed that I had a colon cancer. A few weeks ago, my doctor confirmed there's been no recurrence. Every day in this unnecessarily beautiful world is such a gift and I thank God for my life.

I'm so blessed by my family, even though most of them live on the west side of the Mississippi. My DH is still the love of my life. That alone makes me the luckiest woman alive.

I get to spend my days dreaming up alpha heroes and making things up. I'm so thankful for my editor, my agent and to everyone who reads my books.

I'm embarrassed by the richness of my blessings. But oh, so thankful.

Today, like you, I'll be making a run to the grocery store, where the shelves will be full of wonderful things to eat. And tomorrow my DH will rave over my homemade noodles, whether they turn out well or not because he wants to encourage any sort of cooking to continue.

And the day after that, I'll pull out my Christmas decorations and make new memories in our condo (I love living here, but it always sort of feels like an extended vacation instead of home. Celebrating holidays make it more homey.) The craziness of the Christmas season will start in earnest, but right now, in this moment of quiet, I want to remember how blessed I am and to be thankful.

Oh! And I'm thankful for YOU--my cyber-friend.

I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. If you're traveling, be safe. If you're deep-fat frying your turkey, make sure the fryer is a long way from anything flamable! And remember, calories don't count when you're feeling thankful. That's my theory and I'm running with it.

If you'd like to tell what you're thankful for, special recipes you think we'll enjoy (just keep them simple, please. Some of us are cooking-challenged!) or thanksgiving traditions you'd like to share, this is the place. I always enjoy hearing from YOU!

The End is Near . . .

No, I'm not still thinking about the movie 2012. I'm counting down the last days of my MERRY CHRISTMAS BALL CONTEST . On December 1st, one lucky person will win a $100 gift card just in time for Christmas shopping. And while I'm talking about gift giving, let me encourage you to think about giving books as gifts this year. You'll be giving hours of pleasure and sharing something that's important in your life.

Enter today and good luck!

Why We Must Ration Health Care

I don't normally get so serious on my blog, but this is where my head is, so please bear with me.

Yesterday, I drove down to pick my DH up at work and caught part of a rather chilling discussion on our Boston PBS radio station. It was about the need to ration health care based on the patient's lifestyle choices. The expert on the radio posited that smokers might not be treated for lung cancer. Chronic alcoholics shouldn't be surprised when their livers fail and if you're obese . . . well, you've sort of dug your own grave with your fork and spoon, haven't you? No extreme life-extending measures for you. And when they began saying a person with a disability must have his/her quality of life called into question, I was completely horrified, not just with the thoughts expressed, but by the even tone of the speaker. He was bloodless, like the disembodied voice of HAL in 2001, dispassionately separating the healthcare sheep from the goats.

While I'm all in favor of personal responsibility, I think they are missing an important piece of the health care question. It's part of the old nature/nurture debate. You might even argue that the writers of Greek tragedies got it right. All their heroes carried within them a "fatal flaw."

So do we. It's called our DNA. Look at your family tree. Is there a predominant recurrence of heart disease? Stroke? How long did your grandparents live? The insurance companies know these sorts of questions are the best predictors to use for their actuarial tables. It's also why your doctor asks for a detailed family history. When I was diagnosed with cancer last year, part of me wasn't surprised. Both my parents are cancer survivors, different types, but the same disease.

When we lived in Wyoming, our neighbor (who was a neurologist) was a fanatical walker. Every day, snow or rain, we'd see him and his Tibetan mastiffs (gorgeous dogs--think of a Pyranese only black) hiking their 3 mile trek around our hilly neighborhood. He maintained a healthy weight and lifestyle. Bud had good reason for such discipline. At 60, he'd already outlived every male in his family. Yet by the time he was 61, he was still having a quadruple bypass. Like a hero in a Greek tragedy, he couldn't outrun "the seeds of his own destruction," the proclivity for heart disease he carried.

Back to the original premise of blaming people for their illness. I think it shows more about the PBS speaker's philosophy than science. He's obviously of the opinion that humans are perfectable if only we could get them to make the right choices. Toward the end of the discussion he piously said he'd be happy to have his taxes raised to provide universal healthcare. But apparently, his universe doesn't include those who make choices he disagrees with.

As a fiction writer, I believe people are basically flawed (part of what makes them so interesting!) and unfortunately our DNA is too. Lifestyle choices make a difference, but they aren't the total reason for illness. And I fear the mix of those two things is far too complicated to reduce to a formula that will allow the health care arbiters to delegate responsibility for disease.

I promised myself I'd never get political on my blog and I'm trying very hard not to, but when I heard the PBS discussion yesterday it set me thinking about this very complicated knot. I have no answers, but I'm interested in your thoughts.

What do you think? Is rationed care the answer to the cost question? Who decides?

Killing Off Characters

Sometimes writers box themselves into corners and don't know how to get out neatly. The quickest solution is to kill off the offending character. That's what they did in 2012.

I enjoyed the movie. It's a worthy escape pic on many levels, totally amazing special effects and the writers kept hitting all the gut-wrenching hot buttons. My DH, who's a private pilot, loved the flying sequences. The writers made the science of this disaster seem completely believable. There's even a memorable Woody Harrelson cameo (an actor of limited range, IMO, who found his true calling as a wacko conspiracy theorist who turned out to be right for a change!)

SPOILER ALERT

However (and here is where you need to stop reading if you intend to see the movie and haven't) the writers set up a great love triangle subplot between John Cusack, his ex and her plastic surgeon boyfriend and resolved it horrendously.

They are all decent, heroic people. You can't help but like each of them. Cusack (a writer with one book that didn't do so well to his credit) has pushed his family away. Wife turned to the surgeon who's really terrific with her kids and wants a family (he also happens to have had a few flying lessons and saves the whole lot of them a couple of times.) It's obvious to anyone with eyes that Cusack and his wife will reconnect, but instead of letting her make that choice, the writers killed off the surgeon.

And they didn't even let him die heroically. He was crunched up in a bunch of gears just as they stole away on the "ark" that would save them through the impending flood. After letting him wear the hero mantle several times, his death is just a vehicle for convincing the audience that the danger is real--a task usually delegated to a nameless character wearing a "red shirt."

I was very disappointed. I knew he wouldn't get the girl, but I really wanted him to live!

It was easier for the writers to tie up the loose end by offing him. Our job as writers isn't to take the easy path. Even though this was a subplot, it wouldn't have taken much more than 30 seconds to untie this knot in a more adult manner with the heroine making a conscious choice. And it's an interesting, complicated choice because it's between good and good, not good and evil.

But 2012 isn't that sort of movie. It's an action flick and as such, it delivers. However, if they're going to inject a romance subplot, they shouldn't skate by with such a cheat of a resolution.

Have you seen it? What do you think about love triangles in general? Do you usually dislike the character who's in the middle because they seem to lead on both the others?

If it's Friday, Emily's not here!

TGIF! Friday is my regular day to post at The Chatelaines, so please join me there for a cup of coffee and a few gentle pleasures.