Sunday, December 28, 2008

Over doing it

There's nothing I hate so much as laying about. (Time spent on a cruise ship doesn't count, of course. The whole point of a vacation is to lay about, but there's not even a shadow of a palm tree here in wintry New England.) Right now, I'm recovering from colon cancer surgery and much as I hate to admit it, I can't have business as usual. The procedure was supposed to be laproscopic, but my incision is over 8 inches long, so evidently my cute surgeon had to alter his gameplan. I was hoping for a quick recovery, but it looks like it'll be several weeks before I'm doing crunches. Just going out to eat at the Union Oyster Grill yesterday did me in. The walking wasn't so bad, but there were lots of steps going down and up into Boston's T. The stairs set me back several days.

Until now, I would have said I have a high pain tolerance. I did natural childbirth for both my girls without a whimper. I really expected to bounce right back from this procedure. But even the oxycodone isn't cutting my post-operative pain and I hate to take too much of it anyway for fear of becoming dependent.

My DH says I have "control issues" and I'm afraid he's right. Pain takes away my choices. I'd hoped to go to church this morning, but I couldn't squirm through the service on those hard pews. This afternoon, my daughters would love to go shopping to spend their Christmas money, and even though I am the Anti-Shopper, I would love to go just to share the time with them. I'm afraid all I'm good for is holding down the couch right now. And being a dog magnet.

Susie and Mack (see picture above--yes there really are two dogs there. Little black Susie is blending in with the recliner on my left side) have made it their business to snuggle with me almost constantly. I suspect my dogs are sensitive to my pain and are trying to relieve it in the only way they can.

Sorry to whine. I just need to suck it up and give myself permission to vegetate while I heal. Maybe I can imagine a palm tree . . .


Shannon McKelden said...

Hang in there, Diana! I know how hard it is sometimes to sit still and just be. I had to do the same after thyroid cancer surgery ten years ago. I felt guilty sitting around and there was so much I wanted to do. Something about being grateful to be alive brings out the need to be active, I guess.

But, think of the down-time as a gift...a time to just BE. I'm sure your dogs are thrilled to be keeping you company and having time with you, too, and your daughters, of course, completely understand.

On the bright side, if the oxycodone haze doesn't make you too fuzzy, this is a perfect time to get some writing done! :-)

Big hugs on an easy, if not speedy, recovery!

EmilyBryan said...

Thanks, Shannon. I think you're right. The clear lymph nodes have me wanting to act as healthy as I think I should feel, but my belly is holding me back.

Our oldest daughter is visiting from Missouri, so I'm not writing much while she's here. Unfortunately, I can't show her a good time around Boston either, but she's such a good sport. We're watching a lot of pay-per-view movies.

Glad you've had a such a good recovery after your surgery!

Colleen Thompson said...

Sending gentle hugs, Diana! Be patient with yourself, and use the time to guiltlessly catch up on some lounging activities!

EmilyBryan said...

You're right, Colleen. If it was one of my friends doing the whining I've done, I'd tell her to chill and enjoy her situation.

How often do we women get the mandate to do nothing?

cheryl c said...

Sorry to hear that you are in pain and recovering so slowly...hang in there! That is really sweet about your dogs.