Thursday, June 11, 2009

Now That's Funny!

Put your coffee down. Push your computer screen back to a safe distance. This is a seriously funny repost from my friend Bonnie Vanak. Most of the time she's writing steamy historicals for Leisure Books or hot Nocturnes, but the other day, she decided to noodle away in jest and came up with one of the worst story premises I've ever seen.

So without further ado, I give you:

The Billionaire Werewolf's Virgin Vampire

"Hairy Pause brooded as he stepped out of his black stretch limo and gazed wearily at the glittering parade of black-tie attendees at the Annual Wealthy Werecreatures Only Gala. Suddenly, she caught his eye (and flung it back at him). It was HER. Vanessa Vixen, the beautiful, sensual virgin widow vampire. Weres had coveted her, but none had claimed her. Yet. Hairy was determined to be her first...

Vanessa Vixen sighed with trepidation as she swept into the ballroom of the Wolfdorf Asstoryia. Vampires, werewolves, demons (and one gnome that had struck it rich by advising his wereclients to sell their GM stock three years ago) drifted past with an air of bored lassitude. She tossed back her floor-length silky red curls. If caught, she’d be humiliated. But she had no choice. The ball was the only place where she could get her hands on Hairy Pause.

Her elderly Egyptian mother was confined to Ye Ole Old REALLY OLD People’s Home and dying from a computer virus. Mama Vixen desperately needed a transfusion of the Magic Windows 404 Vista Fixer. Billionaire, handsome Hairy held the only known copy. Vanessa had to get a copy to save her ailing, wailing mummy. It was the 5th ball she’d attended that week in hopes of catching the mysterious, elusive werewolf with the well-chiseled chin.

She’d do anything. Even seduce Hairy, if she could grab him at the balls."

Ok, once you've wiped away your tears of mirth, check out Bonnie's serious writing at Trust me, she's worth a click!


RowenaBCherry said...

You caught my eye with "Hairy Pause" for a hero name!

Funny how one sees little words one expects to see. I did enjoy this.

" the balls." At was not the preposition my brain perceived.

Colleen Thompson said...

LOL, Bonnie! This is hilarious!

Ravenous Romance said...

Loved this. Thanks for the entertainment.

Genella deGrey said...

Bonnie! That rocked!

Brava! Brava!
:D :D :D

Teddyree said...

LMAO, that was brilliant in its awfulness!!

Nynke said...

hahaha! LOL! Thanks :)