Wednesday, June 9, 2010

My Husband Married A Hooker-Part 4

We've talked about setting writing hooks with your title, first sentence, and at the end of chapters. Today, we're going to talk about embedded hooks.

Embedded hooks tease, prod and seduce your readers into turning the pages. As writers, we know everything about our characters and our story. It’s tempting to spill our guts. Don’t. Ladle the most interesting information out in small doses, salting the tantalyzing details throughout.

I learned about embedded hooks in the one creative writing course I took in college. The YA story I wrote started with an underage character sneaking into a hospital to visit his friend who had just been admitted. The police left after taking the hospitalized boy’s statement about the accident and my little hero was desperate to see his recovering friend.

To find out what he’d told them.

And that’s all I said about that for several pages. But my professor pounced on the little hook, raving about it. And I knew I'd discovered something important about writing. Writers are a little like old-school fan dancers. We flash our readers. We give them sneak peaks at what's coming. We part the fans and tease them with little bits of information that makes them want to know more.

I use an embedded hook when I'm introducing my heroine Viola in my first Mia Marlowe title TOUCH OF A THIEF (Kensington Brava, May 2011):

The stones would be in Lieutenant Quinn’s chamber. Her fence had a friend in the brick mason’s guild who, for a pretty price, happily revealed the location of the ton’s secret stashes. Townhouses on this fashionable London street were all equipped with identical wall safes in the master’s chamber. The newfangled tumbler lock would open without protest under Viola’s deft touch.

She had a gift. Two, actually, but she didn’t enjoy the other one half so much.


Did I make you wonder what her other gift is? Check out the full excerpt at http://www.miamarlowe.com.

Drop in a little tease here and there and your readers will love you for it. The fun thing about embedded hooks is that there is no limit to how many or how often you plant them. Dan Brown’s The DaVinci Code was brilliant in this regard. By dropping little nuggets of information, he creats a path in his prose to pull his reader along. Sort of like literary breadcrumbs a reader can follow all the way home.

If you're a writer, please share an example of an embedded hook from your WIP. If you're a reader, have you recognized an embedded hook in the book you're currently reading?

12 comments:

Marleen Gagnon said...

You're so right. I loved this. With you in my thoughts, I've got to go back through my manuscript and check for hooks. I also enjoyed meeting you at the Connecticut Fiction Fest.

EmilyBryan said...

Thanks, Marleen! Fiction Fest is a terrific little conference. I only wish I'd been able to be down there for more of the day. I was furiously packing to head for a week at RT the next morning. Hopefully, they won't be scheduled quite so close together next year.

Edie Ramer said...

I just read your excerpt, and WOW! I'll buy this book as soon as it's out. Great writing!

I recently resurrected an old book. It's in the cat's POV, and the first paragraph grounded the reader and showed the character's unique voice. Though I liked it, I changed it to add tension and show there was danger ahead. Thanks to you blog today, I know that what I did was put in an imbedded hook.

EmilyBryan said...

Yay, Edie! Now you're a Happy Hooker too!

Mary said...

Your hook definitely left me wondering what Viola's other gift is.

I like the analogy of a writer being like a fan dancer. I will have to keep that in mind.

EmilyBryan said...

Mary--I wanted to convey the element of teasing. Too often, we dump not only backstory, but too much information about what's coming as well. The story should unfold, not bash the reader over the head.

Gillian Layne said...

Emily, great excerpt! I never really thought of hooks in the middle. But when I read yours, I knew I had one of my own. Here it is (or what I think it is) from my GH final To Seduce a Proper Rogue:

"No lack of empirical evidence here. Elliot blew out a slow breath, attempting to ease the sudden constriction in his chest.

Exactly how many dead ladies should one man expect in his lifetime?"

The 'exactly' line is the hook, yes?

I love these teaching posts of yours. :)

Sandy said...

Emily, you're so right about the hooks throughout the story. I have some in my story, Addiction, and I know they kept readers going to the finish.

EmilyBryan said...

Gillian--I'm so glad your work was tapped for the Golden Heart. I won't be at RWA this summer, but I'll be cheering for you from here.

Christine Wells said...

Hi Emily! How could I resist dropping in on a blog post like that? LOL

I love to create little mysteries within my books. You don't need to write crime to set up questions in a reader's mind. I remember someone said Jane Austen wrote one of the earliest mysteries when she laid all those clues about Jane Fairfax's relationship with Mr. Churchill in Emma.

EmilyBryan said...

Thanks, Sandy.

Here's a line to Sandy's website so readers can take a peek.

EmilyBryan said...

Christine--I couldn't very well do a workshop on hooks without a hooking title, could I?

Oh, yes, the venerable Miss Austen! I was taken by surprise by the Fairfax/Churchill connection the first time, but all the clues were certainly there.