Saturday, May 2, 2009

My Real Mr. Romance

OK, be honest, ladies. Is there anything sexier than a man who can cook?

Since I was at the RT Convention last week, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to be romantic and as usual, I've developed a contrarian opinion. Romance isn't about flash and sizzle (not completely anyway!). To use a cooking metaphor, it's more about simmer. It's about keeping a relationship cooking for the long haul.

I'll freely confess I'm one of the lucky ones. My DH is a prince of a man who has loved me through several dress sizes and made me feel like a princess in all of them. He's a terrific father to our kids and smart enough to help them with their math homework! One year for Christmas, he gave me ballroom dancing lessons. (Of course, I learned later he had an ulterior motive. In the ballroom, the MAN always gets to lead! But it was still a sweet gift.)

Romance isn't a sprint. It's a marathon. I'm thankful my DH is willing to go the distance.

Ok, now it's your turn to celebrate your Mr. Romance! What's the sweetest thing your hubby/fiance/boyfriend has ever said or done?


Rachel E. Moniz said...

Good morning Emily!

It is so nice to read this. As I have gotten older, I have realized that it really is the little things that can keep a relationship going. No matter how hot it is behind closed doors, if its cold out of them, the fire is doused.
Notes saying 'I love you, Have a nice day' tucked in my purse, a surprise little gift and being truly excited about what I am passionate about are what keeps me coming back for more. And of course, if my man can keep me laughing, life is good!

EmilyBryan said...

Humor is so important. People always say marriage is hard work, but it can also be so much FUN!

Gillian Layne said...

My dh is an amazing cook too, but the most romantic thing he's ever done is show up on our doorstep at 1am when he was away (he travels for work), just so he could be with us for a day. He called me on the cell phone and told me there was a package on the doorstep, and I was all asleep but woke up fast enough when I realized it was him. ;)

Actually, I think I told him I had to hang up so I could call the police, because there was a stranger outside my door...but that would have been funny, too. "No, officer, I've never seen this man before in my life..."

EmilyBryan said...

LOL! What a sweetie you've got there!

Once when I was visiting my parents, I sang at a retirement home and picked up a bad eye infection. Naturally, my vision was all messed up. My DH flew across the country so he could lead me home.

Lisa Cohen said...

I've been married to my DH for over 20 years. He's an amazing and supportive man AND he cooks. LOL.

While he's said and done many romantic and amazing things over the years, just yesterday, he reminded me why he's such a keeper.

I've been flat out, planning our youngest son's bar mitzvah (it's next saturday!) and hubby is out of town this weekend. He told me that after the big event, I need to plan a weekend away with my girlfriends because I deserved it and because I would never think to do it without him nudging me to go.

Maureen said...

Me DH saved me life when I suffered sudden cardiac death, giving me CPR. To top that, which I think was heroic, while I lay in the hospital...three days where they kept me unconscious... He brought his Body Shop body butter and had the nurses use it on my hands and arms so I'd have a familiar scent and know he was there.
Makes me get teary eyed just thinking about it! That's thoughtful and romantic.


EmilyBryan said...

LJ--Isn't it wonderful when our men knows what we need even before we recognize it ourselves?

Maureen--What a wonderful story! You've got a bona fide hero there!

LuAnn said...

There are so many, it's hard to pick just one. He constantly tells me I'm beautiful, he is patient when helping me take care of the grandkids and he's willing to put up with my usual writing schedule! That's a biggie!

LuAnn said...

Oh, yes, and he cooks!

Anonymous said...

Off hand I cannot think of anything my husband, Warren, has ever said or done that would be considered special or romantic. I always have to fish for the simplest complement & pick my own flowers if I want a bouquet. Seems
I'm the spouse who does the spoilin', but he does work very hard to provide for me & to give me a life of leisure! I'll continue getting all the romance I need from your novels, Diana ;)

Jane L said...

I always say my husband is my real life hero! I think my favorite reason is, HE never gave up on us, you know in those first few trying years of marriage, he was the one who said he was in this forever! (Im soooo glad! we will celebrate 24 years in a few months!) He is a wonderful father, an amazing husband and most of all a loyal and true friend! My solid rock in life! Plus... he allows me be a princess everyday! I love him more now, than ever!

Judith said...

Hi Emily! This is Judy from the RT conference (and Bobbi's pre-con). It was so wonderful to meet you. Your workshops were incredibly helpful. I bought Vogler's The Writer's Journey. I've got so much info packed in my head, I'm not sure how it's not bursting.

Anyway, I agree completely that marriage is a marathon. My husband is not on the surface Mr. Romance, but he is as supportive a fella as they come. He was Mr Mom when I spent 6 weeks away in rehab and still drove an hour and a half each way twice a week to visit me. He's sent me off on writer retreats and the RT conference with many blessings (and again, Mr Mom). He quit drinking with me so I didn't have to go it alone. And he is a kickass cook too. Not to mention he lets me buy as many books as I want without complaint.

I think I'll keep him.

EmilyBryan said...

LuAnn--Sounds like you'd better keep him.

Anonymous--Sometimes, men really don't know how to express what they feel in words. Early in our marriage, we went to a Marriage Encounter weekend where we were supposed to share our feelings. I still remember my DH telling me in all seriousness, that he didn't have any feelings!

He did, of course, but when he was growing up, he was never taught how to recognize, name and verbalize his feelings. He's much better at it now.

Writers always try to "show, not tell." Maybe Warren's strong work ethic is his way of showing you how much he loves you without the telling.

Jane L--Thanks for sharing your story of "stick-tuitiveness!" I'm so glad for you both. It's so worth it!

Judy--I enjoyed meeting you too! Bobbi's Aspiring Writers Camp is always such fun. Sounds like your husband knows what love is and that's more important than romantic gestures.

Mari said...

The sweetest thing ever...he never tells me about those, I find out by accident. For one of his password hints for one of his email accounts, he asked "Who is the love of my life?" and gave my name! When I peeked over his shoulder, he looked embarassed!

EmilyBryan said...

That's precious, Mari!

Cameron Sharpe said...

* That's awesome. I'm so glad you started blogging and that I can call you my friend. Keep posting and I'll keep reading.

EmilyBryan said...

Thanks, Cameron. I'll be honest with you. I went into blogging with fear and trembling, sure no one would be interested in what I had to say. The unexpected blessing has been making all my new cyber-friends.